10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship (2023)

10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship (1)

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When it comes to grieving a relationship, certain things may be necessary to feel like yourself again and be able to move on properly. Here’s a look at some ideas to consider.

What to do when you’re grieving a relationship?

When you are wondering how to grieve a relationship, you first need to allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are experiencing. You don’t need to ignore them since it can be helpful to work through these things so you can process the loss of the relationship.

Once you can get through these emotions, this can help you determine what you want to do next. In some cases, you may want to spend some time by yourself, and in other instances, you may wish to find a better match for you out there.

Stages of grieving a relationship

In terms of the steps to grieving a relationship, they are quite similar to the grief you may experience after the death of a loved one. While there are multiple theories regarding the stages of relationship grief, it is widely accepted that there are five stages of grief that a person may experience. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Keep in mind that not everyone will experience all of these steps, and they may not appear in your life in this order. It is thought that grief is different for everyone, depending on the individuals and their circumstances.

(Video) 5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You

You don’t have to feel bad, no matter how long it takes you to get over a relationship. This is especially true if you have just gotten out of a lengthy relationship since you spent so much time with this person. It can take some time to get used to them not being around anymore.

For more details on letting go after a relationship loss, watch this video:

10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship (2)

10 things that must happen when you grieve a relationship

10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship (3)

Once you are grieving the loss of a relationship, it is vital to address your own needs as you work through this process.

Anytime you are grieving a relationship, you may not feel your best, and it might take a while to feel like yourself again. Here are a few things you should consider, so you can move on after your relationship runs its course.

1. Talk to someone

Anytime you are grieving a breakup, you don’t have to keep to yourself. It can be more helpful to talk to someone you can trust, who may provide advice, a kind word, or listen to you when you don’t know who else to talk to about your relationship. If you have a solid support system, this is a time when you should think about leaning on them.

2. Take care of yourself

You must take care of yourself when grieving the loss of a love relationship. While you may not want to eat, shower, or even get out of bed, you must do these things since you must still address your needs and look after your health.

(Video) 7 Signs You're Not Dealing With Your Grief and Loss

Even if you don’t feel like doing anything, try to accomplish something daily. You may find that it gets easier after some time passes.

Related Reading: The 5 Pillars of Self-Care

3. Seek therapy

You might also wish to seek therapy when you are mourning a relationship. Working with a therapist may help you understand if you are experiencing grief or if you have become depressed while grieving a relationship.

Sometimes, a person goes through the grieving process and can move forward with their lives, but in other cases, they may experience a mental health concern.

In some cases, therapy can help you address this concern and treat it. Moreover, you can talk to a professional about what you have gone through, discuss the relationship that has just ended, and receive the best advice possible.

Related Reading: How to Find the Best Therapist- Expert Roundup

4. Stay busy

During the grieving process after a breakup, staying busy may also be necessary. You should try your best to set goals for yourself and meet them. If you don’t know what to do to keep yourself busy, think about if you have ever wanted to learn a new skill or take up a hobby.

These may be ways to spend your time wisely when healing and you aren’t sure what to do with yourself. You can also ask friends and family members for advice on activities to try.

5. Allow yourself to feel

10 Things That Need to Happen When Grieving a Relationship (4)

Grieving a relationship involves allowing yourself to feel the emotions that are affecting you. While this may be painful, this can help you work through the grief and trauma that you may be experiencing when a relationship ends.

(Video) Grief, it's Complicated.....10% of the Time | Susan Delaney | TEDxUCD

You can take all the time you need to work through these feelings and make sure to reach out for support from friends, family members, or even a mental health professional if you feel like you need to.

6. Stay positive

You must also do your best to stay positive when you are grieving a relationship. It may seem like you should be hard on yourself, but this is unlikely to help you work through this type of grief.

Instead, understand that you will be okay and find a new relationship to enjoy if this is what you want. You can also take this time to enjoy being single and doing everything you like to do.

7. Process your feelings

Processing your feelings is a little different than simply being able to feel them. For instance, when you process feelings while grieving a relationship, you may be able to understand some of the thought processes that occurred in your lost relationship.

In other words, in hindsight, red flags may be easier to spot, or you may remember that your pairing wasn’t always equal. Research shows that if you can lessen your feelings of love for your ex, this may help you move forward in your life and process the stages of loss in a relationship more effectively.

8. Stick to a routine

Another way to spend your time when you are grieving is to stick to a routine. This means that you should concentrate on getting the things that you need to get done and focus on them. Perhaps you need to go to work, cook dinner, and want to read a few chapters of a book before bed.

Do your best to get all of these things accomplished, and it can keep your time occupied. When you have plenty to do, it will probably be more difficult for you to become depressed or be hard on yourself.

9. Stay social

Again, it would be best if you stayed social. Go around friends and family when you feel like it. They may be able to make you laugh and help you feel better about yourself.

(Video) TOP 10 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT GRIEF - Grief and Loss, Death and Dying, Inspiration, Hope, Love

You won’t be spending your days worrying, feeling bad, or experiencing sadness at home by yourself. There’s a chance you may even have fun.

10. Limit social media

Of course, even when you stay social, you may need to limit your time on social media. This is especially important if you have many mutual friends with your ex and don’t want to see posts from any of these people.

Taking a break from social media sites can also help your mood. You can always go back to it when you feel better about your life and feel stronger about how you have worked through your grief.

Related Reading: The Harsh Truth About Social Media and Relationships’ Codependency

The takeaway

The process of grieving a relationship will probably be different for everyone. This means there is no set time limit for when your grief will go away and that every person is likely to feel different during the process.

However, it doesn’t matter what you feel since there are a few things you can do to work through this type of grief.

You should try your best to stay busy and distracted, which means spending your time doing things that need to get done or that you enjoy doing, hanging out with friends, and working with a therapist if you need to.

Overall, do your best to keep your spirits high during this trying process, and you may notice that you feel a bit better after a while.

Starting a new routine with yourself and trying new things can help you look forward to the future and a new relationship. Take all the time you need and be nice to yourself during this process.

(Video) 10 Things You Should Know about Grieving People

Everyone will have a different timeline, so remember when you think you will never feel better. It can get easier, and you can be happy and in a relationship again.


What are the 5 stages of grieving the end of a relationship? ›

They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters.

What are typical grief responses to a breakup? ›

Recognize that it's OK to have different feelings.

It's normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You may also feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time.

What is the end of a relationship grief? ›

The emotions that follow the end of a relationship run high and can range from sadness and despair to anger and frustration. Some find they develop depression or experience post-traumatic relationship disorder, while others may rely on vices such as alcohol to help them through.

What is the hardest stage of a breakup? ›

The death of a future you imagined for yourself with your ex, one that you probably imagined together, can be one of the most difficult things to come to terms with after a break-up. It makes your present that much harder to get through (see above). It's OK to mourn and grieve the loss of that future.

Is grief the final stage of love? ›

Grief is love; a reluctance to let go. Grief is the final act of love we give to those who have passed. Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life's greatest sufferings. Often, the pain of loss can feel too much; an intense feeling of sadness and overwhelming sorrow.

What is the final stage of a relationship? ›

It's after relating to each other on a completely open level that couples can move on to the final stage of commitment in a relationship: the partnership stage.

Why is silence so powerful after a breakup? ›

Staying silent can also help you feel empowered. You're taking charge and showing your ex that you're capable of and willing to live life without them. Whether you're the one who was hurt or the one who ended it, cutting off communication after a breakup puts you in control.

How long should breakup grief last? ›

When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

What are the 7 stages of grief after a breakup? ›

The healthy way to deal with a breakup is not to avoid the feelings. These seven stages of grief are shock and the state of denial, pain and angst, guilt and bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction, and acceptance.

How do you accept a relationship is over? ›

How to accept your relationship is ending: 11 effective tips
  1. Allow yourself to grieve. So, how to get over someone you can't be with? ...
  2. Share your feelings. ...
  3. Stay productive. ...
  4. Write about it. ...
  5. Amp up the self-care. ...
  6. Make new routines. ...
  7. A closure ritual.
Apr 29, 2022

What are the stages of grief losing a boyfriend? ›

Knowing the phases of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — can help normalize one's break-up experience.

How do you grieve a toxic relationship? ›

Toxic relationships: 8 ways to move on after a break up
  1. Realise that you deserve healthy love. ...
  2. Accept that the relationship was toxic. ...
  3. Remember who you are. ...
  4. Take practical steps to help you cope. ...
  5. Don't wait for an apology or closure. ...
  6. Embrace forgiveness. ...
  7. Fill the void and surround yourself with positivity.

What is the 72 hour rule after a breakup? ›

Whenever something tends to upset you or someone's actions or words infuriate you, wait for 72 hours before showing your emotions. In simpler words, hold back your immediate reaction and give yourself 72 hours before coming down to any conclusion.

Who hurts first after a breakup? ›

In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men's 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never full recover -- they simply move on.

Who hurts the most after a breakup? ›

Despite the age-old stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, a new study has found that men are in fact more likely to experience more emotional pain than women following a breakup.

What are the stages of losing someone you love? ›

The 7 stages of grief
  • Shock. Feelings of shock are unavoidable in nearly every situation, even if we feel we have had time to prepare for the loss of a loved one. ...
  • Denial. ...
  • Anger. ...
  • Bargaining. ...
  • Depression. ...
  • Acceptance and hope. ...
  • Processing grief.

How do I know what stage of grief I am in? ›

What Are the Stages of Grief?
  1. Denial: When you first learn of a loss, it's normal to think, “This isn't happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. ...
  2. Anger: As reality sets in, you're faced with the pain of your loss. ...
  3. Bargaining: During this stage, you dwell on what you could've done to prevent the loss.
Dec 12, 2022

How long does each stage of love last? ›

Stage 1: The euphoric stage - 6 months to 24 months (2 years) Stage 2: The early attachment stage - 12 months (1 year) to 60 months (5 years) Stage 3: The crisis stage - 60 months (5 years) to 84 months (7 years) Stage 4: The deep attachment stage - 84 months (7 years) and beyond.

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man? ›

Appreciation, infatuation, attraction, impression, and conviction are the 5 bonding stages for a man.

What are the hardest months in a relationship? ›

The hardest months in a relationship usually arrive after the departure of the first relationship phase, the Honeymoon phase. This is the phase where everything seems perfect, your partner seems like a person you can spend the rest of your life with, and there are plenty of hormones and love flowing around everywhere.

How do you know when to end a serious relationship? ›

There are also other warning signs, and if one or more of them are present in your relationship, it may be time to take action.
  1. There's no emotional connection. ...
  2. Communication breakdown. ...
  3. Aggressive or confrontational communication. ...
  4. There's no appeal to physical intimacy. ...
  5. You don't trust them. ...
  6. Fantasising about others.

How long should no contact last? ›

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

Is no contact the best revenge? ›

Silence speaks volumes

The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup? ›

Loneliness is what makes a man miss a woman after a breakup. When a man misses you, they will crave the cuddles and the emotional stability and always having someone to do things with. Naturally, they will miss you when this happens. Guys will miss the security and sexual intimacy that they shared with you.

How do I stop overthinking after a break up? ›

You'll find eight strategies to help you begin working through post-breakup anxiety below.
  1. Take time for yourself. ...
  2. Add mindfulness to your days. ...
  3. Keep a balanced perspective. ...
  4. Embrace your favorite activities. ...
  5. Spend time with friends and family. ...
  6. Prioritize self-care. ...
  7. Let go of the need to know why. ...
  8. Talk to a therapist.
Jan 15, 2021

Why does a breakup hurt more than death? ›

The big difference between a death and a breakup is that in a breakup, you and the person you lost have consciously chosen to be apart. And that means watching them grow, change, flounder, thrive, and plain old exist without you. That in itself is a pain worth grieving.

What are the 5 stages of separation? ›

The decision to end a relationship is even harder if there are children involved. Over the years, working with client's has informed how I can best help them. I have also noted that client's have shown five distinct emotional stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

What does bargaining look like in grief? ›

During the bargaining stage of grief, an individual typically tries to negotiate with themselves, people around them, or with a higher power to postpone or undo the inevitable and/or lessen intense bereavement emotions. Bargaining is an attempt to deal with grief and loss or someone's impending mortality.

What is the longest stage in the 5 stages of grief? ›

Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.


1. 10 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You (Even If You Think They Do)
(Social Psychology Masters)
2. The 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
(Mel Robbins)
3. Top 10 things not to say to someone who is grieving
(Grace For Living After Loss)
4. Break-Ups Don’t Have to Leave You Broken | Gary Lewandowski | TEDxNavesink
(TEDx Talks)
5. Grief Expert Julia Samuel on the Secret to Coping With Death | Lorraine
6. How long does it take to get over a breakup? | Am I Normal? with Mona Chalabi


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